Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
