Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
