nut hugger
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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