Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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