puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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