I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
