do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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