Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and she was petting her beer can
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
