i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
