I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize