Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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