OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
