I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
