Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize