It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
