We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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