Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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