i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
