Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We left an ass print on the piano.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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