I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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