I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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