I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
