You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
