No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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