Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
