Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
