apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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