i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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