Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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