How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
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Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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