I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My bed smells like the plague
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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