my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The Olympian is in my bed
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