HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Houston, we have a blender
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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