There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
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Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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