Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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