i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize