When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize