btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
