I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
