those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
