last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize