pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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