Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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