These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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