How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
