is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
