I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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