Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
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Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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