If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
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Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
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