You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
