does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize