similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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