i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im holly from the hills drunk
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
